getting ready for marriage

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: That depends on your husband, if he would allow me :D

husband and wife

Husband was busy reading something when his wife asks him what he is up to since so long?

Husband replies nothing!
Wife taunts nothing?? you have been reading our marriage certificate since the last hour, whats going on?
Husband replies dear I am not able to find the expiry date anywhere in the certificate!

why do homework

Teacher to santa

Have you done your homework?

Santa: No, ma'm

teacher: Why?

Santa: I live in hostel...

friends get lost in desert

Robert and Jackson were lost in desert...they were dying of thirst when they came upon an oasis, and there was a Mosque...!

Robert to Jackson: "Look there is a mosque, lets pretend we are muslims, otherwise we'll not get any food or water...I am going to call myself 'Abdullah".

Willson refused to change his name and said: "my ...name is Jackson and i will never pretend to be other than but what I am!"

The Imam of mosque recieved both well and asked their names...
Robert: am Abdullah
Jackson: am Jackson

Imam turned to his helpers and said:
"bring some food for Jackson only"

And then Imam turned towards Robert and said:
"Ramzan Mubarak bhai Abdullah"

husband's interview

Interviewer: What is the best thing about your wife?

Husband: She has a problem for every solution!

 by:milan

Girl is caught travelling with her boyfriend by dad!

Two girls were having a conversation!

girl 1: I was sitting behind a boy on a bike and travelling home, when my dad saw me!

girl 2: Ohh shit, what happened then?

girl 1: Nothing he asked me to return the money I had taken for bus fare!

by:sagar

London Olympics 2012 jokes

what is heaven?

Wife: I heard from someone that in heaven 'husband & wife' are not allowed to stay together??

Husband: Yes darling, in fact that's the only reason why it is called Heaven!!

Difference between horror and beauty!

Guess what's the difference between horror and beauty??

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep...

But horror is when it hugs you back...

by: kunal