funny 2013 new year resolution joke

science jokes

Science says, by boiling water the germs in the water are killed!
but science does not know that by boiling water the dead germs remain in the water and are consumed by us!
Genius I

romantic jokes

after an emotional hug
girl told the boy: "If you hug me once more like that, I'll be yours forever."
boy replied: "thanks for the warning"

spelling bee contest jokes

Teacher: Spell "Ambulance"?

Student: A.... M.... B.... U....

Teacher: Faster!!!!

Student: Wew! Wew! Wew! Wew! Wew!

when you arrive late to school

Teacher: "why are you late?, all your classmates arrived on time.!"
Student: "dogs come together, lion always comes alone!"
agree guys?

marriage husband wife jokes

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ....

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

got it in an email courtesy red skelton

never be overconfident

alpha to tiger: Please divert your course 15 degrees East to avoid a collision.
tiger to alpha: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees West to avoid a collision.
alpha to tiger: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
tiger to alpha: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
alpha to tiger. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
tiger to alpha. This is a lighthouse. Your call.

be careful while wishing

A witch met a couple whose husband was 60 year old and wife was 58 year old and gave each of them a wish which she would fulfill.
Wife: I would like to travel around the world with my husband.
the witch moved her stick and gave her 2 tickets.
Then the witch asked the husband what did he desire.
Husband: I would like a wife who is 30 years younger than me.
Ironically the witch being witch made him a 90 year old!

useless fools

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At theatre: hey! What are you doing here?
Me: I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know?

2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Me: No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia . How about trying again?

3. When i get woken up at midnight by a call: sorry! Were u sleeping?
Me: Na! I was doing research on whether monkeys in Africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping, you stupid fool?

4. When they see me with shorter hair: hey you got a haircut?
Me: Nah! Its autumn. my hair are shedding.!

5. When someone call's on land-line and asks where are you?
Me: Hi I am in the market with telephone around my neck...

Faced any of these or similar scenarios? comment & describe the scenario here and get it figured in the next edition of useless fools

traffic police jokes

Santa was driving very fast,
the police got hold of him
Santa: sir, I'm learning to drive.
Police: what!! without a teacher?
Santa: yes sir, Its a correspondence course

my touching autobiography

Last week was my birthday,
I woke up in the morning, though I was expecting to be woken up at midnight, got ready and was surprised to see my wife not wishing me, my kids went to school in their usual manner as if it was a usual day, even my parents did not wish me...I went to office, frustrated, none of my employees wished me either but I was delighted when my beautiful secretary cam in my cabin and wished me "happy happy birthday boss" I was in tears when I asked her if she would come for a party, she agreed and we had a nice lunch at a posh restaurant... she asked me if I would like to come to her apartment, I obviously agreed. On reaching her apartment she told me she had to get ready and would be back in 5 minutes to which I agreed and got myself ready for the feast. A few minutes later light was turned on and many screamed "surprise" , I was indeed totally Surprised to find my wife, kids, parents, employees and secretary standing at the door with a cake, and I was sitting on the sofa, naked.
whatever happened next didn't surprise me, I got divorced!

apple maps jokes

proud of pakistan

during lectures

I Hate When Teachers Say

"You Should Know This
You Learned This in 10th class !"
 

 I Don't Even Remember
What U taught in Last Lecture..

 

celebration freeware

did you do this in class?

When Teacher points at you in front of the whole class and tell you to stand up,
you ask who? I? are you asking me to stand up? why?
and the teacher grows angrier with every question
ROFL

how to trap men

I do this everytime!

Anandbhai from Munnabhai mbbs

life in a seven star hotel

manmohan singh jokes

The picture says it all

can you find anything weird in this image?

try zooming in!
no offence..

free funny images download

how to get a divorce

Husband: what will you do if I win a lottery?
Wife: I'll take away half of the lottery and leave you and start an independent life.
Husband: here I won a 100$ lottery, here's your 50$ please move..

hate your wife jokes

A man was leaving a cafe in INDIA when he noticed an unusual funeral..!!

A funeral coffin was followed by a second one.

Behind the 2nd coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was queue of 200 men walking in straight line.

The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many walking in a straight line.

Who's funeral is it?".

He replied, " That 1st coffin is for my wife"."

What happened to her?." My dog attacked and killed her"

"The 2nd coffin?"

It's my mother-in-law's. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked n killed her too".

A silent moment passed and then he asked,"can I borrow the dog?"

And he replied "Get in the line" :P :D

 

comment to register yourself in line :D

unemployment jokes

the solution to oversleeping alarm jokes

Agree people?? do comment>>

innocent student joke

My teacher pointed me with his ruler and declared that at the end of his ruler is an Idiot.
I was suspended for a month for just asking which end!

government jokes

dark knight rises jokes christian bale batman

Side effect of internet

america the conspirator

court jokes

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died......


The judge asked both the lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you maniacs asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!

Funny rules for employees part-2

 continued from (part 1)>> catch the first part here

Toilet Use – Section 147/A

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 3:00 to 3:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 3:20 to 3:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may SWAP their toilet time with a co-worker. Both employee’s supervisors must approve this exchange.

Toilet Use – Section 147/B (this is our favorite!)

In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the bathroom stalls.

· At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken

· After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Repeat Offenders category".

· Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be prosecuted under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break

This will now range from 5 minutes to 30 minutes according to the individual.

· Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

· Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal and maintain their average figure.

· Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because they don't need to eat anyway.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations and accusations should be directed elsewhere. Thank you.

Please stay back for 5 more minutes today…as u have wasted 5 minutes in reading & forwarding this email…..

what do you feel??? do comment about your situation

Funny employee rules part-1

To All Employees - Effective January 2013 :

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

· If we see gents wearing Reebok shoes or ladies carrying leather Gucci bags, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

· If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

· If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Leave Days

Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called your weekly OFF. One each week. 52 weeks in a year.

Death Ceremony Leave (for acquaintances)

This is not an excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the afternoon. You can go during your lunch break and come back immediately.

Death Ceremony Leave (for self)

This may be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two week’s notice, and it is your responsibility to train your replacement. 

continued>> catch the second part here
comment and share with your employers ;)

wife is headache

success joke

Effects of social media

Teacher: What is the meaning of the
green dot mark on the packet of
Parle-G? Boy: Parle-G is online.

the cute joke

wow cute child!!

rajnikant jokes

How to annoy people

Eat the cream from the cream biscuits, which can be changed by Colgate for extra fun!
Leave the print machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Step purposely on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up and in working condition"
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way because you care for the environment"
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Honk and wave to strangers.<< my favorite
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
  "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
  "What?"
  "Never mind, it's gone now."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.<< at your own risk
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Sing along at the opera.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

try a few of these and do share your experiences in comment :)
keep annoying

manmohan singh jokes

Manmohan singh meeting the thai prime minister
do you agree?

laughter is the best medicine jokes

by: ankit

super misunderstanding

Mr. Jack comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his husband, Jack's neck and says: "I have awesome news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!"

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we won't tell anyone."
The next day, Mrs. Jack receives a telephone call from GE Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.
" Am I speaking to Mrs. Jack? "

"Yes... speaking"

GE energy guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the GE energy guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"

" Yes ............ . We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD!!!!!!.... This is too much......I can't believe this"

"Mam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, rushes to GE energy office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?

What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at GE energy, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

by: ankit

how planes fly

marketing jokes

pilot worst case scenario

i pity him

new funny facebook jokes

funny facebook jokes

Do you agree with it?? do comment if you want any extra buttons.. :)

the funniest movie scene

best movie scene

was this your favorite movie scene? do comment

facebook funny jokes

the day is not far when someone will knock your door and tell you,
Hi! We have 7 mutual friends can I come in?

pakistan jokes, jokes on pakistan

jokes on pakistan

effects of global warming

very funny joke

It was a busy monday afternoon for jack at work and his unaware wife calls him up!
wife: "darling i have got a good news and a bad news which one would you like to hear?"
jack:" dear I am really busy right now, just tell the good news quick!"
wife:" okay, the good news is that the air-bags in our new audi work perfectly."

sender: ankit

smart girls jokes

A cute guy found a new girlfriend
so he texted his ex-girlfriend " hei I got a new girlfriend, she is smarter, hotter and better than you so I want you to return the picture of me that you have!"
and soon came the reply of his eX
"I have sent them to you by post, don't be surprised there are 50 photos of all of my boyfriend's and you may keep yours and return the rest to me"
by: abhinav

can you not concentrate during exam

It was the month of march and the school and college exams were approaching,
a group of boys staying in hostel were not able to concentrate on their reading due to girls
and under tension they decided to go to temple and take assistance of their swamy.
The swamy was very experienced and knew the exact solution for it;
He instructed to close their eyes and say "om shanti om"
whenever they saw a beautiful girl!
a few days later they were all sitting in a garden and reading
suddenly one of them said "om shanti om"
and as per the tendency of boys all of his friends asked him "where where???"
boyz r boyz :D

Narendra modi jokes

This is what media suggests about Narendra modi

India manmohan singh jokes

the reality with manmohan singh

Deepika Padukone jokes

Deepika padukone

please..

RCB IPL kingfisher vijay mallya jokes

woo pity on vijay mallya, what is he going through!!

blackberry jokes

21st century kids standing at museum in Egypt, looking at the ancient mummies..
they saw "1217BC" written below the mummy.
the first kid wondered what it is and asked his friend Jack if he knew what "1217BC meant
Jack replied ya i guess that will be his blackberry pin number for blackberry messenger!

by: Abhinav

Gujarati jokes

We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!

The first rule of money - Never use your own!

"Su 6 Nava juni" is our version of wassup?

We keep an "ELARAAM" to wake up in the morning

No party is over without a round of GARBA

When someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN MANAS 6!

"Saanti rakh ne ,loi no pee!" is our best possible slang

We have a PhD in Bargaining by birth..

We don't have feelings, we have PHILLINGS!!!

Jai Shri Krishan = Hello and Aavjo = Good bye

Generally our conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end with,

koi saaru investment Hoy..Deel Beel hoy to bataav jo Bhai

For us electricity never goes - only light does!!!!

We don't call people, we COAL them

We Gujjus are everywhere, all over the globe - So deal with it...

We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments

Towel = Tooval

Every gujju will introduce their spouse as aa Mara Mr. 6, ne aa Mari Mrs. 6...

Mount Abu is Switzerland

Exam aave 6, beta notes JEROX karavanu bhoolto nai...

If all of a sudden u hear a Dhoom machale ringtone Its Gujju

Hindi humko Bahut faavta hai

if u are 15 or 50, ur parents will always refer to u as their Bebbi or Baabo

Gujjus don’t know what chocolate is, they only know CATBURY

If u don’t watch Tarak Mehta ka oolta chashmah u r not a gujju….yaar

Ultimate gujju gift - a 'cover' (envelope) with 500 +1 in it

We tk constitution very seriously, everybody is called Bhai and Ben

If u do not go for navratri, u don’t exist

Mango is not our national fruit only Kesar n Haphus is

Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home - Aapnuj 6...

We eat homemade Theplas with chhundo and Athaanu in Business class flight

We can do garba on any song in the world

Falguni Pathak is Britney spears for us

After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for extra puri, and then discount

Order soup 1/2, 2 TIMES u get more quantity - be smart

U expect a discount at dollar store if u r a gujju

Always says Don’t Charge me TAX I am paying in CASH

U consider SpongeBob as Dhokla, u r Gujju

Dandiya is our prom

U find something gud n say "BAHU FINE 6!"

If a gujju starts coffee with Karan, he would name it as "chhas with chhagan"

" You know you are getting too old, when the candles cost more than the cake."

from @raincloudg (twitter) 
do share and comment if you agree 

crazy jokes

courtesy: buddybits.com

yo people give it a try!!!

please give us your answer in comment..!

we would love to see your comment

for more 

funny people on facebook jokes

Facebook should have a limit on the number of times people can change their relationship status'
after 5 times it should default to "Unstable and Unreliable"

Universities jokes

where GTU stands for gujarat technological university
by: dhawal

Nerd

this image defines nerd in a classic way, please do share with your nerd friends on facebook and twitter

manmohan jokes

After the series of scams in Lok Sabha, a congress MP during his speech told a story.....
"There was a father who gave 100 rupees each to his 3 sons and asked them to buy things and fill up a room completely."

First son bought hay for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.

Second son bought cotton for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.

Third son bought a candle for Rs. 1 and lit it up and the room was filled with light completely."

The MP added "Our Prime Minister(Manmohan singh) is like the third son. Since the day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of prosperity"

A voice from the backbench(BJP) asked:
"Woh sab toh theek hai(all that is fine but)... but what about the remaining Rs. 99?" 

from: Ankit

  more jokes on manmohan singh

interview tips

The best interview ever

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I ...am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology.

Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it.

What happened was – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: LOL.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so much of pain!!

Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up w it h a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’, ‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand..
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in england in the current year, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS.

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of Infosys.

so just be honest in your interviews who knows? you might be the next Rameshwar Kulkarni

for more articles on interviews please check link

Abhishek manu singhvi jokes video

Abhishek manu singhvi on facebook shortly after the incident share!

mumbai indians jokes and ipl jokes

what is the similarity between Mumbai Indians and India?
both have a sardar captain (manmohan singh and harbhajan singh)
but are run by female (Neeta ambani and sonia gandi(this is not intentional))
and kapil sibal is going to have a problem with this post :(
#iplnonsense
more IPL jokes

mosquito mosquito mosquito

sick of mosquito? read this one
Girl: what are you doing?
Boy: killing mosquitoes
Girl: how many did you kill?
Boy: A total of 5 of which 3 were females and the other 2 were males
Girl: yuk! how do you know their gender?
Boy: those 3 were near the mirror and the others were near my beer bottle !

movies jokes and hollywood movies jokes

what do movies teach us!

• that the Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

• More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

• The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball.

• Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.

• U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.

   check more jokes on movies

apple jokes

how apple was completed by android and it became an apple joke.
what do you think about it? let us know by a comment

exam papers

what do you expect from this student when his exam papers are such! lol
what do you think? give a comment

cricket jokes

the only advantage of a cricket match is that there won't be any traffic on the streets while the cricket match is on!
and thats the advantage of IPL matches too

perfect weather weather weather

funny Ipl jokes

the biggest circus of the world is organized in India every year in april may and held at different venues around the country.
It is named as "DLF IPL" and the best part of this circus is that all millionaires are jokers who dance around the fields to make money.

cricket jokes and ipl jokes

son: dad i know to play cricket but I am not able to see anymore properly, is there still anyway I can be attached with cricket?
Dad: ya sure, become an umpire.

love jokes , love joke

the best and shortest love story ever
He proposed, she smiled,
no teeth, he died...!! 
 by: nishit

best rajnikant jokes rajnikant

Rajnikant jokes

Corruption in India

This shows the extent of corruption in India please share and bring to notice of everyone!

cheating wife joke, cheat wife

Trust is the most important part of a realtionship.
You must be 100% sure that she Won't tell your Wife.

manmohan singh jokes

why women are dumb, women joke

perfect forecast for today

Forecast for tonight: Dark

Movies jokes, jokes on movies

There's a serial killer in our house!

Normal people like us will say "CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!"

But in movies actors say "Lets go find him"

facebook joke

How embarrassing would it be if Facebook automatically updated status' to what you were doing really

"Santa is now using the bathroom. *FLUSH*"

what happens in the bar

peter walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a
blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming
on.The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a
large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at peter and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
peter said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
peter placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge
did a swan dive off the building falling to his death. The blonde was
very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's fair. Here's
your money."
peter replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM
news, So I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did, too, But I didn't think he'd do it again."
 

peter took the money.

Angry birds joke

joke on programming, reality of programming

how europeans play football, european soccer joke

Student's life, life of student

comparision between google, microsoft and yahoo