top 10 Bollywood dialogues ever

10. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga

9. Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga

8. Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?

7. Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.

6. Bacchhaaaaoooo. ….

5. Yeh anyay hai bhagwan

4. Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.

3. Tum mere liye mar chuke ho.

2. Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.

And the number one all time best statement is ….

1. Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.

height of kanjoosness!

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend­ ­

Teacher break's the signal

A lady broke the traffic signal...

Police :- Stop!! 

Lady :- Plz let me go.I'm a teacher.

Police :- Aah,I've waited for this moment all my life.

Now write...

'I'll never break signal' 1000 times

setting password in laptop

Girl is setting password for her laptop with a guy sitting beside her..
She types"BRAIN"As password.
Guy Fell Off from Chair laughing
Because :- Laptop Replied : "TOO SMALL"....

 by: kunal

height of drunkness

Boy- "I wasn't that drunk.."

his friend- "Dude you were in my pool trying to find nemo!,
you asked your girlfriend if she was single!,
you were arguing with yourself on the phone and got upset when you hung up!,
you were in my closet yelling 'where is narnia?',
you were throwing rocks at my cat screaming 'go pikachu'!,
you hugged a man with white beard and cried 'dumbeldore you're back!"
and you still say you weren't drunk...!!!

by: milan

pakistani gets shifted to US

Once a Pakistani boy shifted to America with his family..
On his first day at his new school his teacher asked him what his name was..
He replied "my name is Mohammad "
His teacher said you are an American now..your name from today will be Johnny.

He went home and his parents asked "how was your day Mohammad?"
He said "I am an American and my name is Johnny and don't call me Mohammad from today"
He got a nice beating from his parents!

Next day at school his teacher asked "How was your first day in America Johnny ?"
Johnny replied "It has been just 24hours since i shifted to America and I was beaten up by 2 Pakistanis"

difference between civil and mechanical engineers

the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers is that
mechanical engineers make weapons and
civil engineers make targets to test those weapons!