the nightmare birthday gift

Wife treats hubby (Jim) on his birthday by taking him to a strip club.
At the club:

Doorman: Hey Jim! how are you?
Wife: how does he know you Jim?
Jim: We play Golf together.

In the club...

Bartender: The usual beer Jim?
Wife: and how does he know you?
Jim: we are on the darts team!

Lap dancer: The special again Jim??

Wife drags Jim out of the club and jumps into the taxi, but before she could tell the address!

Taxi driver: Hey Jimmy boy, you picked up an ugly one tonight, same hotel??

best friend

question paper of a 5th class boy;
write an essay about your best friend in 200 words.
time limit for the exam was 30 minutes.

the boy completed the exam in a minute and wrote just one sentence, yet he scored full marks!
he wrote: "no combination of 26 alphabets can express my best friend"



A cutest promise to a best friend:
hey buddy, I'll be your best friend till the episode when Tom finally eats Jerry.